Search me Oh God!

 

A well known psalm of King David.   Sometimes in the struggles of our lives, we shrink back and try to isolate and hide ourselves.  No matter where we are in our lives, we can’t hide from God.  No matter how hard we try, no matter how much we may lie to ourselves and everyone around us, He sees and He knows.
 
If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night,” even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you.   Even if we think that thing we are doing is kept hidden from sight – it isn’t.   And – even when we are going through those difficult times in our lives, when everything around us seems dark and a struggle, God is there with us.  Even our biggest problems and deepest hurts are not too big for Him.   In fact, even when we are in our darkest hours, when all we see is darkness, we are never too far from joy with God.  Sometimes we just have to remember He is with us, and make the choice to find the light even in these times of darkness.   As the apostle Paul said – “Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.”
‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4:4-6‬ ‭ESV‬‬.   He already knows your struggles.  Why be afraid to bring them to Him?
 
For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.   One of the most famous verses in the bible, sometimes quoted in certain political fights to this day.  Not just physical but metaphysical, God made us from the inside out.  From our very heart that pumps our blood and keeps us alive, to our very soul that is the purpose of our being, all the details of who we are was made by the God who loves us.   I say even our very soul, because I think that is the essence of our creation, who we are.  We think of ourselves as “having a soul.”  I think this is completely backward, I think we simply “have a body”, a body that will expire and fade away.  I don’t “have a soul”, I am my soul.  And that soul will never burn out or fade away…

My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.   You think God is disappointed in you?   You think he’s sitting up in heaven in shock and awe at the things you’ve done.  He knew you were going to do exactly that before you were ever conceived!!  Yet He made you anyway!!   He knows all the things you were going to do.  He knows everything you haven’t even done yet.  Yet he loves you enough to create you anyway.  

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I would count them, they are more than the sand. I awake, and I am still with you.   His thoughts are more than the sand – they are the sand, the sun, and the stars.  They are the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky.  They are the unborn baby, all the people on Beijing, NYC, Mexico City.  The smallest to the largest elephant.   The vast salt water and the underwater springs.  They are sunshine on the beach and snow on the mountain.   Quantum physics and simple arithmetic.  

Oh that you would slay the wicked, O God! O men of blood, depart from me! They speak against you with malicious intent; your enemies take your name in vain. Do I not hate those who hate you, O Lord? And do I not loathe those who rise up against you? I hate them with complete hatred; I count them my enemies.  King David counts enemies of God as his enemies.  He hates those who hate God.  He wants God to take action against evil, just as we still want God to take action.  But we can never forget what our savior tells us to do with OUR enemies – “”You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.” Matthew‬ ‭5:43-45‬ ‭ESV‬‬.  A higher calling in the progressive revelation of God.
Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!   A part of every good recovery program – inventory and prayer!  At step 11, we are to seek constant contact with Him through prayer and meditation so He may reveal His will for our lives.   We ask Him to show us our character defects, so we can then ask Him to heal us of those defects.   Written at least 3000 years before the first modern recovery program, a great prayer for anyone seeking God’s will for their own lives.

“If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night,” even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you. For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I would count them, they are more than the sand. I awake, and I am still with you. Oh that you would slay the wicked, O God! O men of blood, depart from me! They speak against you with malicious intent; your enemies take your name in vain. Do I not hate those who hate you, O Lord? And do I not loathe those who rise up against you? I hate them with complete hatred; I count them my enemies. Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭139:11-24‬ ‭ESV‬‬
http://bible.com/59/psa.139.11-24.esv
John Lewis
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